liveblog 26/12/25

07:00: Ants crawl from my bedside table to the candy wrappers that overflow my bin. they’re the small kind where you can barely make out an individual, but together, they’re a swarm. I brush as many as I can into a plastic bag and throw it out my door.

08:13: Thought I felt less sick today, but as soon as I wanted get up with the intention of getting ready for work, my stomach churned. I feel nauseous. There’s something dark and scary on my shoulder.

08:23: If I shower now I might be able to get the dreadlock out of my hair, and I won’t stink. But I’d likely be late for work.

08:36: My legs are filled with more lactic acid and ATP than a marathon runner. They ache and burn. I’m unmovable.

08:51: Work starts in 25 minutes. It takes 25 minutes to get there. I’m in bed naked covered in cum.

09:05: Before I leave, mom says something kind but backhanded, then fixes my hair. Get in car. Drive. Scream for five minutes straight. Want to bang head on steering wheel. Try my hardest to not let myself drift into the oncoming. 

09:10: Mom texts “I wish I could help you feel better Jack, but the best I’ve got is “this too shall pass”. I love u. Let me know if I can help in any way.”

09:21: Park car at Mei’s then lime the rest. Look at the because someone said that helps w depression. Streets are empty, so it’s safe to do so. The cloud texture reminds me of a photo in my camera roll. 

09:29: Arrive at work. I’m smiley. Occupy self with tasks. 

10:00: Need water / bathroom but our tap is broken and the toilets are shut. 

10:39: Ask a nearby restaurant if I can use their lavatory. They take me to a basement where there’s no cell service. 

Toilet is dirty. The plop of my shit sounds like a punch to the water. 

Encounter the infinite wipe glitch. 

11:40: In mirror, take photos of the dreadlocks that formed last night. 

Gay guy who fetishises asians walks past shop window with yet another Asian 

12:35: Coworker tells me vitamin c helps you sleep when on Vyvanse, have a tablet and an orange at the end of the day. Go on break. Scroll. 

16:00: Complete EOD sheet. Theodora asks if I can buy her and Blessica a wine. 

16:16: Someone I recognise from when I was a kid walks into the sex toy store. Apparently there’s a theatre or something adjacent in the back. I follow him in. Can’t identify the product he’s looking at, but on one packet it says internal another says external. Still can’t tell if I know the person or not. 

16:29: Theodora makes me take photos of her and a dog shaped lamp. They turn out shit. 

17:03: Tansy arrives. She says I look soulless. 

17:57: Drop the girls off at a drinks. Too tired to go in myself. Get home, sleep. 

19:20: Dad wakes me to ask if i want to watch a movie with him. Think of suggesting ‘Tangerine,’ but can’t bring myself to speak. Says there’s leftovers in the fridge. 

20:20: Check Kyle’s suburb on Grindr. Screenshot a couple stories and Hinge profiles. 

22:39: Brother’s playing music. I walk upstairs to ask him to turn it down. It wasn’t bothersome, I just wanted someone to talk to. 

22:58: Dislike how ‘Baja’ is pronounced. Would prefer it to sound like ‘badger.’